


The Distance Between Us

by MeetMeAtTheEndOfTheUniverse



Category: Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, didn't really happen, strange work of my imagination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2020-09-23 01:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20331763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeetMeAtTheEndOfTheUniverse/pseuds/MeetMeAtTheEndOfTheUniverse
Summary: Set a few years after the untimely death of Henry Burton, what would have happened if Teddy had been pregnant? Following a time about 3 years after Henry and Teddy, between our favourite Manhattan ADA and GI Jane, a story of hardships and what happens when you're separated from the love of your life.





	1. April 29th

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lovelies! Thank you for giving this story a shot. It's kind of a strange pairing I know, but this is what happens in my overtired teenage mind. This is my first story here and I'm really hoping you guys like it.
> 
> I don't have a beta so right now all mistakes are mine. I'd love for you to let me know what you think but please, keep it kind? Thanks so much!
> 
> Unfortunately, none of these characters belong to me. 
> 
> Love and Kisses, Bre <3

Landstuhl, Germany. American Army Base. April 29th, 2017.

Major Theodora Altman zips around the base with her friends and fellow soldiers, Captain Colleen McMurphy and staff sergeant Evan “Dodger” Winslow. Her golden hair is tied up away from her face and covered in dusty sand but she’s smiling widely during a friendly game of soccer. 

"Altman, over here!" McMurphy shouts as Teddy cuts off Dodger. She passes the ball to her friend who moves it around the brunette man and passes it back to the dirty blonde. Teddy moves and kicks it to the net made out of water bottles and scores. She shouts in hurrah and high fives Colleen. From the sidelines they can hear a group of soldiers cheering them on. Dodger growls playfully.

"Get over here!" He lifts Teddy over his shoulder. She's a tiny thing quite skinny but they all know she can kick their asses. 

"Put me down! McMurphy, I could use a little help over here!” She squeals. Her friend sits on the dusty ground cheering him on and laughing.

"Dodger! It's not funny. I have a Gun and I'll sure as hell use it," She threatens playfully.

"Ooh Dodger, you know she'll do it!" The muscular redhead teases.

Before anyone can even comprehend what's happened a large blast goes off an all goes dark. The last thing Teddy remembers is the screaming of her friends before she fades into the darkness.


	2. April 29th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies! I'd love to know what you guys think. Just a heads up some of these chapters will be longer than others. I'm not quite sure how this is going to go but I'm keeping an open mind. Drop a comment or whatever so I know if I should continue.
> 
> Love and kisses, Bre <3

Manhattan, New York. Home of Alex Cabot. April 29th

After a long day of paperwork all Alex Cabot wants to do is go home and take a long hot bath. At least without a case she can finally get home at a reasonable time. 

She unlocks the door to her large apartment. It's in a good area free of too much noise or foot traffic. You wouldn't think that could happen in Manhattan. She Gently closes the door and drops her keys into the bowl on the wooden table along the wall.

She pauses. It's too quiet. She glances down at her watch. 7:36. She walks into the kitchen to check the time on the stove just in case her watch is wrong. 7:36

She walks into the living room. Searching for any sign of her daughter or the babysitter. "Vi?"

She hears giggles come from behind the couch. Alex smiles before dropping her bag onto the chair and quietly kicking off her shoes. She slowly climbs onto the couch and jumps calling out to the little girl.

she squeals and giggles.

"Mama!" Alex pulls her into her arms when she leaps up. 

The blonde kisses her temple. "Hi bumblebee. Where's Kelly?"

Said woman walks out of the child's room with a basket of laundry. "Right here Mrs C," The redhead says

"Kelly how many times have I told you to call me Alex?" She sets Violet down and watches as the 3 year old scampers across the room to play with her doll.

"About as many times as I've told you that thats not going to happen," she grins. The 22 year old woman is her next door neighbour. She takes night classes at NYU. Her dream is to become a lawyer. During the day, Alex pays her to watch her daughter when she's not there. Which is quite often unfortunately. There have been many times when Alex gets home, her and the young woman go over her notes together as Alex gives her some fake scenarios.

"Kelly, you didn't have to do laundry." Alex says just seeing the basket in the young woman's arms.

"I know. She was being so good that I didn't have much to do."

Violet giggles again.

Alex gives her a proud look. They taught that girl well. 

"Well thank you very much." She pays the girl. "I'm off tomorrow so I'll be staying home with her."

"Great. I'll see you soon then." Kelly walks to the door. "By Vi!" She calls before exiting.

"Bye Kelly!" The small blonde shouts 

Alex watches as her daughter plays quietly. She makes her way into her room a small smile on her face. 

She hears small footsteps on the wooden floors. Their 3 year old gorgeous daughter stands in the doorway. She has Long wavy dirty blonde hair and hazel green eyes. Teddy says she got the eyes from Henry. Alex wishes with all her heart that she could have met the man, she thanks him everyday that he gave her Violet.

"Mama?" She asks quietly

"Yeah baby girl?"

"Is mommy come home soon?" 

Alex sucks in a deep breath. Her wife is a surgeon. She was re enlisted in the army for the last 8 months. Everyday is a struggle without her. 

"I don't know baby. I hope so." She opens her arms for the child as Violet runs into them. Alex holds her tight. Everything will be alright. 

\----

Landstuhl, Germany. April 29th.

Blue. That's the first thing she thinks of. Why the hell is the sky so blue? She can’t get it out of her head. Just blue.

As she gains her bearings she can smell smoke and the only thing she can hear is the ringing in her ears. Shit, she swears that there is something she's meant to do. She's missing something she knows it. She just can't remember what.

She tries to turn her head but cries out in pain. She brings a bruised hand slowly up to her forehead where something wet is dripping into her eyes. She hisses as her fingers come in contact with the wound. She pulls back to see a sticky red substance. She tries to sit up but finds herself gasping for breath. She gently pulls up her army issued green t-shirt now covered in blood. Her blood. Bruises litter her tanned skin and a large laceration falls just to the left of her belly button. it's deep. It has to be at least 5 or so inches long. 

She prods at it. She grits her teeth as a scream bubbles up from her lips.

A shard of metal is stuck in the wound. It sticks out of her skin like some sort of knife. She knows that she shouldn't touch it but she needs to asses how much damage there is. She tries to gently slide it over but her vision starts to blur so she pauses. 

She gently wiggles all of her fingers and toes. When she gets down to her right leg she doesn't feel any real sensations, she fights down the panic as she slowly glances down to her leg. She has the horrible urge to vomit as she sees bloody bones sticking out of her skin. 

She's a soldier, she's trained to keep calm in these situations. Yet There's some sort of hole in her memory. She can't think clearly and she fights off the panic that that causes. But at that moment all she can think about is clear blue. Blue... eyes? She takes another deep breath trying to put the thought of her mangled leg out of her mind. She grasps onto the shard of metal piercing her skin and yanks it out. A wet tearing sound fills the air along with strained screaming before darkness over takes her.


	3. April 30th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovelies, how are we doing?   
I've just started writing an almost prequel type story to go along with this one. I want everyone to know that this isn't going to be completely canon so sorry about that. Everything here all comes from my head, I don't own any of the characters as much as I'd love too.
> 
> Love and Kisses <3

New York. SVU, 1-6 precinct. April 30th

"Hey Cabot you coming tonight?" Elliot asks the blonde ADA

The team had talked about going out tonight to just unwind after the insanely hard case they finally solved. Olivia, Fin and Munch stand with Elliot waiting for her reply. 

She hesitates packing up case files into her briefcase. "Um..." 

"Come on Alex, you never come out with us." Olivia says giving her, her patented half smirk

Alex sighs, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. She stands to her full height. "That would be lovely."

Fin smiles and holds out a hand to Munch. The older detective smacks a 10$ bill into his hand grumbling.

The blonde shoots a confused look to the other woman. Olivia rolls her eyes. "Munch bet Fin that you wouldn't come with us tonight."

"How was I supposed to know that tonight would be the night that you finally decide to come with us. If I didn't know better-" John starts 

"You don't," Alex cuts him off. Exiting the precinct with the rest of the group.

"So no mister waiting at home for you?" Munch continues.

"Nope." If only they knew she thinks 

They're walking down the street to a cop bar and the blonde looks down at her own attire and feels a little out of place as she looks to the others. They're all in comfortable clothing. Munch is always in his suit but it's not a high end expensive one either. Olivia and Fin are both in jeans. The brunette in a form fitting red tshirt for the warm night and Fin in a long black shirt. Elliot is in his normal pair of black slacks and a button up blue shirt that's rolled up to his elbows. 

Alex is in a pressed grey pencil skirt and jacket, paired with a sapphire blue blouse and her signature high heels. Tonight a pair of LANCE electric blue strappy sandals. She looks around the bar and feels as if a million eyes are watching her. What she wouldn't do to be with her greened eyed beauty instead. She doesn't let the intimidation show, she keeps her head held high and leads the group to a booth in the back. 

Elliot gets up after a moment and stretches. "I'm getting drinks, what do you guys want?"

"My normal, thanks El." Olivia lets him know. He nods

"Scotch on the rocks," Munch says 

"Beer man, thanks." Fin waves

The group look over to the blonde who's sole focus is on her phone. Her eyebrows scrunched in concentration as her fingers fly across the keyboard. 

"Hey counsellor?" Olivia snaps her fingers

"Hmm?"

"Drinks?" Elliot smirks 

She blushes faintly looking up from the device. "Um... ah, tequila." She sees the surprised looks on their faces and shrugs. "I could use a pick me up." 

As Alex goes back to her phone, Olivia stares at her friend. Friend? She isn't really sure. She's shocked that she was wrong about the ADA. During work hours all of the detectives assumptions have been true. Cabot is a professional woman and she can now say that she understands where the nickname "ice queen" comes from. But with victims and children a motherly sort of attitude comes out. She's so great with the kids getting them to talk and feel comfortable. 

Alex hasn't been with the team for long. Only about a year and that's surprising in itself. Most of their ADA'S are gone within a month, sometimes not even that long. Although she's been there the longest, they know the least about her. She doesn't talk about her personal life at all. 

A beer bottle put in front of her snaps her out of her thoughts. Elliot's back with the drinks.

He sets down everyone's drinks in front of them.  
He places a tray of lemons and a shaker of salt in front of Alex, along with a shot glass and a bottle of tequila.

The blonde is once again so immersed in her phone that's she barely notices him.

When she does look up she smiles and takes off her thick rimmed glasses gently putting them in her purse.

"Thanks Stabler."

He waves her off. "It's Elliot."

She nods. "Feel free to call me Alex then." She pours herself a shot.

"I think I'll stick with counsellor." He says with a small smile. 

She lifts the glass up in a cheer. "Of course detective." She smirks before downing the drink.  
They watch in awe as she doesn't even so much as flinch or make a face at the strength of the liquor. She turns to find them staring. 

"What?"

"You...how? Never mind." Munch raises his hands

She gives them a confused look. "I don't understand."

"He's shocked that you didn't use the lemons ." Elliot informs her.

Her lips curl into a silent "oh" she rolls her eyes. "Lemons and salt are for pussies. What did you expect, Cosmos and martinis?"

"Uh kinda." Fin tells her

She giggles. Hard ass Alexandra Cabot giggles. That's not something they'd ever expect. Although they just realize that they've never even seen her smile. Not a full on, eyes light up smile. They so enjoy watching her walls come down. 

They talk for a while, getting to know a little more about each other. They talk old cases and her school and some of them share what made them want to go into getting justice. The men go on to talk about their family and personal lives while Others like Olivia and Alex stay out of that conversation. In the span of time they talk, they see their normally perfect ADA down at least 3 more shots.

"You headed home after this?" Olivia asks Elliot

"Yeah I can't stay too long, Kathy's going crazy with Eli. We've tried everything, he just won't cooperate."

"Terrible twos?" Alex asks sympathetically 

He nods sighing. 

She chuckles filling another shot. "I do not miss those days." 

They all turn to her with questioning eyes. For a moment Alex pauses a little wide eyed before she swiftly lies her way out of her mistake.

"My nephew." She downs the shot. It's not an exact lie. For all she knows her brother or sister does have a son.

The others nod but Olivia just looks at her suspiciously. It's not the first time she's said something to that nature.

A few minutes later, all of a sudden Alex stands and downs one last shot. She doesn't even sway although the team know that's she's at least tipsy. She just knows how to hold her alcohol apparently. She sheds her jacket and kicks off her heels. Leaving her barefoot and a few buttons short on the top of her blouse.

"Alex?" Olivia asks

The blonde stands there levelling her hands as if she's contemplating a decision.

"Pool or dancing?" She says 

"What?" Elliot asks

"Anyone want to play a game of pool? I promise not to kick your ass too hard." She smiles a bright full smile. 

When no one answers she rolls her eyes. "Ok then, Dancing."

"I'll play a game with you later," Elliot tells her. 

She winks at him. She's definitely a little drunk at least. "I'll hold you to that Stabler."

They watch as she moves confidently across the floor. Her hips swaying to the fast paced music. 

"Damn." Fin says

Olivia shoots him a look. 

"What? I mean is this even our Alex? I would have never guessed her to be like this."

"What, fun?" Elliot asks chucking

"Exactly."

"You know it could very well not be our ADA. Maybe-" john starts

"Shut it Munch." Fin says

They laugh. Turning back to the dance floor, they watch Alex as she's dancing.

\-----  
Alex POV 

Did he ask if I wanted to get drinks with them? He did. Damn ok you know what? Why not.

Fuck this shit. I'm going to have a good time tonight whether it kills me or not. 

Tequila. That sounds good right about now. I need to relax. 

Ooh i want to dance... or play pool.... hmm. I should really be worrying about Violet. Dammit! No stop she's fine. Kelly's got her. 

Elliot says he'll play later, I'm going to go enjoy myself. 

Oh god Teddy please come home soon. 

\-----

They stare in shock as their ADA dances for a while provocatively, beside a woman no less. The others decide they like to see her smiling and having a good time. Maybe just maybe, she doesn't descend from a race of emotionless robots.

She shoots the woman a flirty smile and says goodbye before walking back over to their table and plops down into the booth beside Olivia. 

She drops her head onto the table and steals a lemon off of the tray.

She brings it up to her face but they can't tell where she puts it. Her long blonde hair is hiding her face.

As she lifts her head she catches they all looking at her.

"Cam I helph ou?" She mumbles, indecipherably.

"What?" Elliot asks

She pulls the lemon out of her mouth. "I said, can I help you?"

"No, no" they all look away.

She chuckles and turns to Elliot. "You ready for that game?"

He glances at the rest of them and nods.  
"Awesome," she smiles.

Awesome? Olivia thinks. Okay, maybe Munch was right.

She plays a few rounds of pool with Elliot, Fin and Munch having left the table to play their own game. Olivia feeling left out decides to hang with the blonde and her partner.

She walks over to the pair just as Alex shoots the eight ball into the pocket.

She smirks and laughs as Elliot raises his hands in defeat. 

"Another one bites the dust!" Alex jumps. "That's 50$ detective."

He mumbles something under his breath and hands her a bill.

Olivia ends up beside her. "What happened to promising not to kick his ass too hard?"

Blue eyes meet brown. "I lied."

Olivia and Elliot watch as she struts off to the bar and takes a seat.

"She seems to be having fun." He says

The brunette nods. "I kinda like seeing this side of her." They see a man sit beside her and start up a conversation.

Elliot agrees. "I'd take this one over hard ass any day."

They talk for a few moments as they watch the man try to hit on Alex. They can't hear what's being said but by her body language they can assume she wants him to leave her alone. She shakes her head a few times and waves him off.

The pair walk towards her to offer help if need be.

They're now close enough that they can hear their conversation.

"I'm fine thanks." She tells him in a dismissing tone. The man himself isn't bad looking with his dark hair and blue eyes, Olivia is sure that he's never been turned down before so the concept is unfamiliar to him.

"Oh come on sweet cheeks. Did it hurt?" He asks suddenly 

So thrown off by the question, Alex turns to him. "What?"

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven." He smirks

A laugh bubbles up from the annoyed look on her face. The man laughs too thinking he's got her. Her face turns serious.

"I said I'm fine thanks." She said a bit more firmly

He places a hand on her arm. She flinches and her whole body tenses. She shoots him a scathing look.

"Do not touch me." She growls. He's so taken aback by her change in attitude that he just nods and leaves.

Once he's gone the blonde glances around and sighs in relief. Her shoulders sinking, the tension leaving her body.

Elliot and Olivia give each other looks. They both saw the look in the blondes eyes. Fear.

Olivia walks up behind her careful not touch her. She thinks back to all the times she's seen Alex around people. She always tends to steer clear of too many people especially men and if she's around them she makes sure she has a lot of personal space. Olivia's only even seen her let her guard down around other women.

"Alex?" She calls cautiously 

The blonde jumps about a mile in the air and turns to face the detective with her hand on her chest.

"Jesus Liv you almost gave me a heart attack."

Olivia's so close to the ADA that she can see the glittering of a piece of jewelry hanging on a simple silver chain around her neck. Whatever the pendant is, it's hiding beneath her shirt.

"Sorry, just checking on you. I saw that guy. Seemed like an ass."

Alex searches for the unsaid questions in the brunettes eyes and when she doesn't find any she sighs. "Yeah definitely an ass." She quickly glances down at her watch and softly swears.  
"I have to get going. I had a lot of fun tonight. Thanks for asking me to come. We should definitely do it again." She stands up and gives Olivia a small hug, waving to the guys before she leaves.

Olivia sighs. The mystery of Alex Cabot may have just gotten bigger.


	4. May 27th

New York. SVU, 1-6th precinct. May 27th

It's been a few weeks since the group went out to the bar with their ADA. The next day she seemed a lot more precise in her movements as if one wrong turn would lead to her collapse. But it makes sense seeing all she had drank the night before. 

Now they all seem to be getting along a lot better. There is less hostility and fighting between Elliot and Alex and less tension between the 2 women. They all got to see the other side of the prosecutor and that she actually does have feelings and she does know how to have fun.

It's been a slow day at the 1-6 and Olivia finds herself thanking God. So far it's been all paperwork. She can tell that Elliot doesn't feel the same way she does. She knows that there's no way that he wants there to be a need for them to come out but he's sick of sitting there doing nothing. The nice thing being that they got a full night of sleep and if they're lucky they can go home early too.

Olivia keeps thinking back to the night at the bar. There was something off about Alex. She realizes how little she actually knows about the woman.

She noticed the jumping and flinching as well as the dark circles under her eyes that her makeup just couldn't coverup. She's also pretty sure the ADA came into her office in a pair of jeans, a stained shirt that looked somewhat like puke and messed hair a few days ago. It didn't seem like any of the others noticed but Olivia did. It's strange. 

Alex had come by earlier just to go over their testimonies for her next trial in 3 days. She seemed down. Not even an hour later she was a walking bomb. The smallest thing set her off on a rampage. At that time all of the Detectives, SVU or not, knew to stay out of her way unless they wanted to release the beast. 

Olivia arrives at the blonde ADA's office with some lunch. She knows that the Alex often forgets to eat when she's deep in a case. Hesitant, not something the stubborn detective feels often, she knocks on the door. 

"Come in," a tired voice calls. The brunette slowly Opens the door. 

She finds The blonde sitting at her desk, almost literally buried in her own paperwork.

She lets out a frustrated sigh. "Can I help you Liv?" 

The detective shakes her head no. She holds up the bag. "I brought Chinese. I know you sometimes forget to eat." She moves over a few files and sits down on the couch,

The blondes face softens. "Thanks." She whispers 

They eat in silence for a few minutes. 

"Are you ok?" Olivia finally asks

Alex sighs. She'd been waiting for that. "I'm fine."

"Alex, come on. I know you. You're upset, what's up?"

"You don't know me." She snaps. She instantly feels guilty when she catches the look on her friends face. She can honesty say that Olivia is her closest friend. In a long time actually.

"I'm sorry liv." She sighs again letting her head fall into her hands.

The detective shoots her a concerned look. She's never seen the woman like this before. She grabs one of the chairs and pulls it up beside the blonde. She cautiously rests her hand on the woman's back slightly hesitant on how she'll react.

"What's up?"

When Alex looks up Olivia's shocked to see tears in the piercing blue eyes. The same eyes that with one glance can get a criminal to confess. Now she's worried.

"I'm just so tired" She basically cries 

Olivia's shocked. "Well I understand not getting enough sleep but-" she's cut off suddenly 

"You don't understand. I'm not sleep deprived, I'm drained. I just can't do this!" A few tears slip down her face

"Alex, what's going on? I don't understand," the brunettes worried. She's never seen her friend like this and it's starting to scare her.

She sees that the blonde is hesitant to answer her. 

"Hey anything you say is between you and me. I wouldn't tell anyone even if you said I could." 

She sees the ADA's face still worried. "There's nothing you could tell me that would make me walk away. Well...maybe if you murdered someone." She replies cheekily grinning. Her smiles grows as the ADA lets out a small chuckle.

The blonde sighs. "I'm uh. I'm married." 

This is not what the detective was expecting. 

"And we have a daughter."

"You do?" She asks in amazement

"Her name is Violet. She's 3."

"You have a 3 year old?"

"Yeah." Alex nods

"Wait. You're married?!" Olivia asks all of a sudden remembering

Alex giggles. "She's amazing." She says adoringly

"A woman?" Olivia asks slowly. She'd never gotten the gay vibe from her friend. She thought she was as straight as a pin.

Alex nods. "Yeah. Um a woman. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just I've had bad experiences and I hate when people judge me before they even know me. We've only been married for a year. My girls are my everything." She starts panicking when Olivia hasn't said anything. "Liv?"

"When?" She whispers 

"When did we get married?"   
The brunette nods

"About a week before I took the Job with SVU."

"Oh." Olivia suddenly grins. "Good because I would have been pissed if I wasn't invited to the wedding."

Shocked, the blonde laughs out loud.

"So you aren't going to run out of the room screaming?" At first Olivia wants to laugh but she hears the seriousness in the prosecutors voice. Who hurt you Alex? She finds herself thinking

"You couldn't get me to leave for the world."

Alex's face breaks out into a huge grin. The brunette honesty believes it's the first time she's ever seen a smile that reaches her blue eyes. It's sad.

"Would you like to see a picture?" She asks softly

"Of course I would Alex."

The ADA reaches behind her computer and pulls out a photo. It's a gorgeous image of two women and a young child. The little girl looks just like the other woman in the photo. Alex is cuddled up into the woman's chest smiling as the woman laughs out loud with her arms around the Prosecutor. Alex pulling the little girl to her chest.

"Teddy is my wife. And this is Violet."

"They're beautiful Alex. I just don't understand why you're so upset?" She says

Alex sighs. "Teddy's a surgeon. For 7 years she worked with the US army. They called her back because they were low on Medics. She's been gone for the last 8 months. I get a Letter every 2 weeks without fail. It's been almost a month since I last heard from her. I'm waiting for the Message that she died in action. I can feel it Liv, something's wrong."

On instinct Olivia pulls the blonde into a hug. She can't even imagine what she's feeling. There's no way for Olivia to comfort her, she doesn't know if her friends wife is even still alive. She just knows that she'll support her either way.


	5. May 1st-5th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!
> 
> I just wanted to say how much I appreciate being able to share my ideas with you. I'm not sure how many people will read this but to those who do thanks a bunch!
> 
> I'd like to share a little about me if thats cool with you. 
> 
> I'm 17, I'm going in to my final year of high school :/ not quite sure how I feel about that. I live in Canada so if anything is spelt with a 'U' that's the reason! I love tv shows more than movies and I’m a huge self proclaimed nerd. I love Star Trek and Doctor Who and so many others. 
> 
> I'm really new to all of this so if you can be nice I'd really appreciate it.
> 
> Sorry I'm totally boring you aren't I? 
> 
> Once again, I don't own any of the characters and any/all spelling & grammar mistakes are my own. Back to the story!
> 
> Love and Kisses, Bre <3

New York. SVU, 1-6th precinct. May 5th

It had been one hell of a day. The last 4 days had been horrible. A man had raped 5 young women in the last week. He'd meet them online and take them out on a "date" then attack them. He leaves no evidence and now everyone's frustrated and tired. 

Alex and Elliot had gotten into a huge fight when Elliot asked for a warrant that Alex couldn't get for him. It was 3 in the morning and everyone was on edge. It went something like this.

"We need that warrant on Lowrey! For once can't you just help us out instead of bitching at everything!" Elliot shouts in the blondes face. His own a bright red with eyes of rage

Olivia saw Alex's fists clench by her side. After their heart to heart she's gotten to learn a lot more about the stubborn blonde and she felt honoured that Alex let her in. She knew that Elliot's comment had been unfair. They all know that Alex does everything she can for their team. She'd basically given up her political aspirations already because she'd bent the law for them so many times.

Before she could intervene, Alex grits her teeth and tries to calmly answer the detective. 

"I can't get you that warrant, you don't have any evidence. There's not a single judge in their right mind that would sign off on it. If I were to wake a judge up at 3 AM for THIS, I'd be out on my ass." She chooses to ignore his comment about never doing anything.

"That doesn't help me right now! You're here to help us, you're here to get us these warrants so do your goddamn job!" He snarls 

"I try the cases I am handed by this squad. You don't like the evidence I've got, find me some more. I can't do your job, too. " she finishes bluntly 

"You can't do my what?" He sputters 

Oh shit! Olivia thinks 

"Out of line, Alex." Cragen shakes his head 

She whirls around and turns on the captain. "I am not out of line and I don't work for you! You work for me at my discretion. Your sole purpose in this process is to bring me a case I can prosecute, not one I have to fix." She turns on her heel and storms off.

Elliot stands with his mouth agape. Cragen walks into his office without a word. Olivia had seen the tell tale sighs of a break down by the blonde. 

Fuck

She runs after the ADA, leaving Elliot to stand on his own.

She sprints out onto the winter street. She nearly slips on a patch of ice as she searches for her friend. Olivia whirls around taking in everything though chocolate eyes. She catches a glimpse of blonde hair ducking into an alley and hears a horrible retching sound. She rushes over to Alex side when she realizes. 

The blonde is doubled over vomiting in a corner. Olivia gasps and pulls back her long hair. She rubs her back until she's finished. Alex sighs in relief and groans 

"Hey you ok?" Olivia asks brushing back her hair off her sweaty face

Alex gently bats the detectives hand away. She stands up and straightens her coat running her fingers though her hair in attempt to fix it up.

"I'm fine." She says automatically. She sighs when she catches the look on the brunette face. "When I'm really stressed I get sick. It's always happened. Ever since I was little. It was particularly bad when my parents divorced." She says quietly.

Olivia pulls the younger woman into a gentle hug. She feels Alex stiffen but eventually relax. She can tell that the blondes holding back tears of frustration but she knows she won't let them out.

"Damn that sucks."

"Yeah well it happens a lot more than I care to admit,"

Olivia winces slightly at the thought. She knows how invested Alex gets in the cases. No one gives her enough credit. If Elliot had known that all the stress he causes his colleague made her physically ill he'd probably back off. She'd have to talk to him soon. 

Olivia smiles sadly. "Elliott was out of line you know? He didn't really mean that."

Alex pulls back rolling her eyes. "He meant it in the heat of the moment... although I would have liked to punch his teeth down his throat." She says after a pause

A laugh bubbles up from Olivia's throat. She admits that the thought had crossed her mind a few times too.

They stand in silence for a few moments. Suddenly feeling awkward Olivia stumbles on her words and gestures strangely

"I'm in going to go back inside. Yes, you should really go home if you're not feeling well, ill take care of uh Elliott." She points behind her. And turns to walk away

Alex tries to keep the grin off her face, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"Olivia."

The brunette turns around again. "Hmm?"

Blue eyes fall to the ice covered ground refusing to look at the detective. "Would you like to meet violet?" She says quietly 

Olivia freezes for a moment. She really wants me to meet her daughter?

"I'd love to Alex," she smiles

Alex lifts her head up and grins back. "Great."

"Let me go grab my jacket." She says 

Alex laughs. "Of course."

She watches as Olivia jogs back into the precinct. And she wonders how she got so lucky to have great friends. She needs everyone she can get right now. It's been forever since she's talked to Teddy and even longer since she's seen her.

Olivia walks back into the 1-6 and heads straight for Cragens office. He tells her to come in when she knocks.

She gently opens the large oak door and pops her head around the corner, 

"Hey captain is it possible to get the rest of the day off?" She sees his raised eyebrow 

"I have some personal errands to run."

He sighs talking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose. He waved slightly. "Go ahead Olivia." 

"Thank you sir," she says about to close the door again

"Hey Liv?" He calls 

She pushes it back open, "yeah?"

"Is Cabot alright?"

Olivia shoots him a surprised look. He chuckles slightly

"I may be old but I still got it. Don't think I didn't notice how close you two have become. You used to hate her."

"I never hated her," she responds quickly 

"Mhmm." He says unconvinced. "Just make sure you look after her."

"You know there's nothing going on between us right?"

Cragen nods. "I know. I also know that she's too stubborn for her own good. So watch out for her."

"I will," she whispers. For Teddy she thinks.

She walks over to her desk not even glancing at her partner and grabs her thick leather jacket and scarf from her desk.

"Where're you going Liv?" Elliott questions.

"Out," she calls over her shoulder exiting the precinct.

\----

Somewhere over Atlantic Ocean. May 1st

She only woke up once. 

Shes in excruciating pain. She wants to scream but her mouth feels like sandpaper. She grunts apparently catching the attention of someone.

"Shh," it's a male voice whispering to her. She pries her green eyes open only to come face to face with a handsome man. She's in a helicopter. The air is filled with turbulence with each bump causing her to gasp in pain.

The man sets a cold wet cloth on her forehead. "It's ok. You'll be fine."

The darkness welcomes her home.


	6. May 9th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovelies!
> 
> I have a question for you. How many of you who write stories and post them like this write them all out completely before you post them? I can't be the only one.
> 
> I mean there's absolutely nothing wrong with putting up chapters individually but I personally know how annoying it can get when you've just started such a good story and then you have to wait a week to get the next chapter. 
> 
> Anyway, just wanted to ask. Leave me a comment and ill do my absolute best to respond.
> 
> Love and Kisses, Bre <3

New York. Home of Alex Cabot, May 9th

It’s four days later that The blonde is standing in her living room pacing the floor clutching her cellphone in her fingers. She runs a frustrated hand though tangled hair. She had called Teddy's commanding officer 3 days ago. He'd basically stonewalled her. She has no idea what's going on 

She's desperately waiting for answers. She'd lain awake in the middle of the of the bed clutching to Teddy's pillow. She'd purposely not washed it. It still smelled like her. Unable to sleep again for the 20 millionth night in a row she gets up and tries to read. But her mind betrays her and she starts thinking of all the horrible ways her wife could have died. 

Alex calls the army navel base once more to try and force them to talk to her. She screams in frustration after locking herself in the bathroom...Knowing that she wouldn't be getting a call back anytime soon the Prosecutor exits the bathroom and heads back to bed. 

She looks at the clock hours later. After having stared at the ceiling. Her mind racing too much to sleep.

Ugh. 4:35. Calm down Alex... what am I thinking I can't calm down! She's out there and she could be hurt,. Oh my god. What if she's hurt?! What if someone has her. It's been 2 god damn months. Almost 60 days! She could be dead for all I know! Oh god please let her be okay. We need her.

The internal monologue continues well into the early morning. After looking back to the clock to find 5:13 in flashing red numbers blaring at her she finally gives up on the thought of sleep. She pads into the kitchen turning on the coffee maker. She sits down at her kitchen table and puts her head in her hands. Instantly she's breaking down. She bites down on her fist to muffle the heart wrenching tears. She sobs all the pain she's feeling into the open air. Alex needs her wife. Violet needs her. Alex isn't even her biological mother, they share that special bond that not even she can compete with. Their daughter needs her other mom. 

"Please Teddy," she cries. "Where are you?!" She whispers the words silently crying. She knows that violets still sleeping soundly. Not a care in the world.

After several minutes of brutally sobbing, she finally stops herself forcing the tears to subside. She grabs the first coffee cup she can find and fills it to the brim. The hot liquid scorching her throat but she hardly feels it through the numbness that had taken ahold of her.

"I'm going to find you Teddy. If it's the last thing I do. I'm going to find you." She whispers fiercely. Her fingers itch to grab her cell and call Olivia. Just to get some things off her mind. But she pauses. She can't put all her problems onto the other woman. She can't do that to her friend, She checks the time once more. 5:30. She sighs finishing her coffee and gets ready for work. She expertly applies the slightest amount of makeup under her eyes to conceal the dark circles. They show off exactly how much sleep she'd been getting in the last few days. Running on auto pilot she dresses and pours herself a large travel mug of coffee. Paying a visit to Kelly who's awake anyway she Gets into her car within 10 minutes. She's at the office by 6 am, an hour and a half before the day even starts.


	7. July 6th

Seattle. Mercy West Hospital. July 6th

A rhythmic beeping is the first thing she hears as she enters the realm of consciousness once again. The next thing she notices in the pain. It's as if her entire body had been set ablaze and she can't put the fire out.

Jesus! Somebody turn off the jackhammer. Wait... not a jackhammer. 

The pounding of her head only intensities as she tries to open her eyes. Unable to stand the glaring light around her she quickly shuts them tight. 

She groans quietly as green eyes finally open. She finds herself looking into a dull hospital room. Beige walls with hints of soft blue. 

How cliche...

Her head is pounding and the beeping of the monitor is really starting to get on her nerves. She growls in pain as she attempts to move.

Oh yeah I've been shredded. Where's Col and Dodger?

The thought confuses her. She turns her head to the side and gasps in fright when green eyes meet brown. A tall brunette is standing eerily close to her, her fingers poised to prod at her head. She flinches and moves away from the hands. 

The woman swallows as her hands go up in surrender.

"It's ok. I'm not going to hurt you." She says gently

The door opens again and emerald connect with a set of blue eyes

Are these the blue eyes I need to see?

A handsome man walks into the room along with a few others as the nurse finishes her chart and scurries out. 

The group comes to stand at her feet. Each of them wear a white doctors coat and various shades of blue scrubs. There's the first man. dark features with bright eyes. He's wearing the darkest scrubs. 

An attending.

That's the first thing that pops up. She furrows her brows slightly.

Beside him is a tall African American man. He's got a stern look on his face as he glances to the group behind him. A gruff looking young woman. A somewhat aloof yet good looking woman. A green eyed mousy haired blonde man, a redheaded young boy, and a stoic Asian man. 

The blonde steps forward as the tall man nods to him. Before he can open his mouth the patient beats him to it. Her attention is automatically on the man. He seems to be in charge.

"Where am I?" She asks hoarsely sending herself into a coughing fit. 

"You're at Mercy west hospital. I'm Dr Shepherd, I operated on you when you were brought in," he holds his hand up as the blonde man attempts to speak again. His eyes connect with the patients.

She cuts him off before he can speak. She nods her head gesturing to the interns. "This a teaching hospital?"

"What?" He asks blindsided

"That your resident?" She asks the interns looking towards the black man

They all nod meekly

She turns her attention back onto Dr Shepherd. "I'm guessing you're the head of the department... Neuro." This time it's not even a question it's a statement. He nods and shakes it off. He can wonder about her personality later.

"Can you tell me anything about yourself?"

Her mind comes up blank, her face stays the same way. She shakes her head slightly.

She chances a glance down at her leg. It's elevated and half of it is gone. She shows no emotion. "I need Callie," she says softly as if saying it to herself 

"Callie?" The African American asks

She shakes her head. She doesn't know what the hell she was talking about. As far as she knows she doesn't know a Callie. 

Dr Shepherd sighs sadly 

"I'm very, sorry. there was nothing we could do...You came in with a severe blow to the head. We had to operate, you've been in a coma for the last 2 months. Do you remember your team or the attacks?"

She shakes her head again. Her mind numb.

"Do you remember anything? Your name?" The African America man asks gently 

Cold emerald eyes meet his. She doesn't move.

The man nods to the blonde to continue. He takes a deep breath.

"Jane Doe approximately mid 30’s arrived via helicopter from the Landstuhl regional medical centre. We've been told that due to a series of bombings at a base camp She came in with a severe head trauma resulting in a cerebral edema. A craniotomy was performed by Dr Shepherd on May 2nd to relieve the pressure on her skull. Patient has been unconscious until now. Upon further inspection we found an 6 inch wide and a 3.5 inch deep laceration. There was internal bleeding due to a ruptured kidney, corrective surgery performed by Dr Bosswell." He pauses for a breath 

"Sorry." The woman says 

They look to her. She pokes the bandage covering the wound on her stomach. 

"It was a shard of metal." She says. "About this big." She moves her arms separating her hands at least 5-6 inches apart. "Hurt like a bitch." She realizes there's something fucked up with her leg right now and her head but she chooses not to think about it at that moment.

"You pulled it out?" The Asian asks appalled.

"You would too if you had a hunk of a convoy gutting you like a fish." She says in a monotone voice, not a single emotion playing across her face.

A few of the doctors flinch at her harsh words. The mousy doctor clears his throat getting back to the charts. 

"Lastly patient arrived with a below the knee amputation of the right leg, infection caused by contamination resulted in necrotizing fasciitis. While treating her we had to amputate further to above the knee." He finishes hurriedly

"Define the term and give me some side effects Grayson." the African American doctor tells him

Doctor Grayson pauses. He glances around panicked. “Uh. It um...”

Teddy cuts the doctor off instinctively answering the question. 

"It's a tissue infection. It eats away at the muscle and the subcutaneous tissue. It's most commonly Caused by an infection with the group A streptococcus, side effects include Redness, swelling, fever nausea and other flu like symptoms. Patients can go into shock and if left untreated it can lead to organ failure. Death can occur in 12-24 hours, 1 out of 4 patients diagnosed die." She says with a blank face. As if she didn't even know she answered. 

They stare at her incredulously. Before any of them can question her, she busts out a question without thought. 

"Where's Alex?" She's asks. For the first time they see a flash of humanity in her eyes. Even some fright.

Derek barely stops himself from glancing at the gruff young intern as do the others. "Who?" He asks gently

She closes her eyes. Blue eyes flash in her mind but for whatever reason she can't put a face to the name. As they open she meets the mans questioning gaze. "I don't know" she whispers.


	8. May 19th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!
> 
> So I think it's safe to assume that you guys realize that there is some serious time jumping going on and I want to clear up any confusion.
> 
> In each part of each chapter we're following either Alex or Teddy. It makes sense that since they're apart, they won't be experiencing things on the exact same days. Within the timeline, we're following Alex on a mostly day-to-day basis where as Teddy is in and out of consciousness for a while so we miss some days with her. 
> 
> Please, please let me know if there's anything I can clear up for you guys!
> 
> Love and Kisses, Bre <3

New York. SVU, 1-6th precinct. May 19th

Thank god that's over!" Elliot sighs practically falling into his chair after a long interrogation.

Everyone was exhausted from the lack of sleep and running on just coffee and adrenaline. Olivia sighs as she can finally sit down for the first time in hours, 

She sits down and rests her head on the solid oak desk, she closes her eyes and tries to breath. Earlier in the day they had busted in on a veterans welcome back party and unfortunately Alex had to help question them all. She held it together in front of the boys but Olivia had seen the tears in her eyes as she said goodbye and drove away. She hated that her friend has to go through that. It's been 2 months without any contact.

Cragen is in his office, typical. Munch was almost asleep reading the newspaper and Fin is doing what he always is and working. While humming a strange tune. Elliot has his feet up on his desk and relaxing.

She doesn't lift her head as the doors to the precinct open. She swears if it's another case....

She hears that Elliot's taking care of it so she allows herself a few more minutes of solitude.  
She hears something that has her head peeking up. The familiar shrieking of her friends daughter,

"Kelly?" The girl asks

"Mhmm?"

"Mama here?"

"No Vi we're seeing-" she whispers the rest into the blonde child's hair, the girl squeals in excitement, 

"Auntie 'Livia!!" She claps

Olivia lifts her head seeing violet in Kelly's arms. It’s been about a month since the detective had met her friends daughter and Violet had taken to her like glue. Alex needed someone there and the child is an absolute delight to be around. Olivia pulls herself onto her feet before violet runs over to her and leaps into her arms.

"Hey Shorty," she greets tickling the girls sides. Violet giggles and pushes Olivia away.

Kelly comes over with an apologetic look on her face, "I'm so sorry detective Benson. My sister was in a car accident and I really need to go. Her mom isn't at the office and I was told to try here."

Olivia smiles sadly. "I'm sorry about your sister. I can take her from here. Thank you. Oh and by the way Kelly, you can call me Olivia you know?"

Violet giggles in the brunette arms. 

Kelly smiles a bit. "No offence but I don't even call Mrs C by her first name and I've known her for years."

The detective gives Kelly a one armed hug before Violet wraps her arms around the girls neck. 

"Bye Kelly!" She shouts as the young woman makes her way out of the precinct. 

She laughs gently, and waves. "Bye Vi,"

"Guess it just you and me kid." Olivia says looking down at the girl and ignoring all the looks from her team.

20 minutes later 

Everyone turns around when the doors to the 1-6 slam open. A blonde tornado in 4 inch heels rushes past them. The detectives had always marvelled at how Alex could run in heels like that without breaking her neck.

"Olivia?!" She calls stopping in front of the brunettes desk.

"Alex," Olivia states walking out of the cribs

"Kelly called me, what happened?"

"Nothing's wrong," she says slowly, "Kelly's sister was in a car accident and she couldn't find you."

The precinct pretends that they're not watching fascinated.

"Mama?" A small voice calls.

Alex's head whips around as she sees her daughter standing at her feet asking to be picked up.

"Hi baby. Are you ok?" She lifts the girl into her arms as the other marvel at how quickly she changed from their hard ass prosecutor to a... Mother?!

"Kelly had to leave. So i be with 'Livia." She cuddles into Alex's arms playing gently with her long blonde hair. 

She meets the detectives eyes. "Thank you." She whispers 

Olivia smiles and rests an hand on her arm calmly. "Of course, she was perfect."

Violet giggles. Alex attacks her face with kisses.  
Someone clears their throat causing the prosecutor and the detectives to turn their way.

Olivia face falls as her eyes meet those of a middle aged man dressed in an army uniform. He's with another man one who's quite a bit younger. Their faces are stoic but Olivia can see the regret shining in their eyes.

Alex heart drops. She starts to shake As the two men get closer.

"Are you Mrs Alexandra Cabot?" The older man asks

She nods wordlessly. She feels the questioning gazes of the others on her back as Olivia reaches over and squeezes her hand.

"Do we have to do this here?" Olivia hisses

"I'm sorry miss, it's protocol." The younger man finally speaks 

"It's fine liv." She says. Her eyes never leaving those of the older man. 

He sighs. "I'm very sorry to inform you that Major Theodora Altman was involved in a mortar attack. We unfortunately do not have a body for a funeral. At This time, she has been pronounced killed in action. My condolences." He says. They both stand tall and salute her before handing her a large yellow envelope. Supposedly with Teddy's information and a death certificate. 

"Ok" she whispers as they walk away. No tears fall. No expression crosses her face at all. 

"Mama?" Violet says

The blonde glances down at her little daughter.

"Was that about mommy?" Alex swears she hears a few gasps. Her dead eyes lift to the clock on the wall. 2:37 PM. 

She nods wordlessly. 

"Is she comin home!!" She squeals in delight 

Alex blinks slowly. Cradling her daughters small body to her chest "No baby. She isn't."


	9. July 12th

Seattle. Mercy West Hospital.July 12th

"Fuck!" She yells as her knee buckles and she falls again.

Her arms barely catch onto the parallel bars at her sides, before strong arms pull her up and back into the damned chair. 

She huffs.

"It's ok. You'll get there." Rob tell her. Doctor Stuart her Physical therapist has been helping her for the last 3 weeks. So far she's been fitted for a prosthetic and been able to stand on her own. She can take the smallest of steps but not unassisted.

"I can't do this!" He face is flushed and her eyes are red. No doubt from the lack of sleep on her part and the frustration growing.

She starts to hyperventilate. Clenching and unclenching her hands at her sides. So hard that her finger nails are cutting into the palms of her hands. 

Rob grabs her hands and unfolds them. "Look at me. Hey look at me. You are doing so well. I know this is hard and I know that this may seem like the end and that you'll never walk again but you will. You will." He finishes firmly

She shakes her head and pulls her hands away.

A knock at the door stops her from saying anything further. Dr Shepherd stands in the door way. 

"How's the patient doing?" He smirks. He's learned quite a bit over the last 3 weeks. His patient sure has a temper, but she also has a sarcastic sense of humour that he finds oddly amusing. She's a horrible patient that always defies rules and causes trouble but she's good at not taking things too far.

"Shittily!" She says then pauses. "Is that word?"

Derek bites back a chuckle and shakes his head. "No it's not."

She huffs. "Well it is now." 

"So what is, dare I say it, is making you feel shittily?"

She shoots out an exasperated sigh, blowing an annoying strand of hair off her sweaty face. "I can't do it. I can't walk. Dammit I can't go to the bathroom without someone's help!"

This is one of the several mood swings she goes through. And he's sure it has something to do with her surgery. Once she completely heals her emotions should go back to normal. But for now she bounces back and forth between, calm, angry, self loathing and down. It's not even sad, he's never seen her cry and he doesn't know if he's impressed by her or what. But she's developed almost neurotic like tendencies. 

"It's alright," he reassures her. "It's going to take some time. You aren't just going to one day be able to walk perfectly again. You need to keep working at it. It'll happen when it happens."

She pushes a few sweaty strands away from her face. "It'll never happen. I've been in this fucking hospital for almost 3 months and everyday for the last 3 weeks in this damned PT room. I've yet to actually walk. I can barely stand up in my own. It won't happen."

She pulls herself back into the chair and wheels away out of the room before either doctor can speak. Neither of them go after her. They know that she needs some time. 

\---

She huffs in frustration. She grips her hair having the insane urge to yank. Her hands feel clammy and it makes her want to scream. 

Calm down idiot. What it wrong with you? Why can't I focus and get a hold on my emotions?! God dammit this brain!!! I can't even remember my own name for god sakes. 

She breathes deeply and allow her mind to go to other things. The doctors had mentioned that she has a few tattoos on her person. 4 to be exact. Right now they're literally the only thing she knows about herself other than her appearance and the fact that she was in the army. The first tattoo is on the back of her left shoulder. In flawless handwriting it says:

Henry, 23/06/74 - 11/01/14

She hates that she doesn't know who that is. The next one is a small American flag inked right on the inside of her middle finger. Below it says:

holly, 19/03/79 - 11/09/01

She obviously died in the towers. And it freaked her out at that moment because she didn't even know what had happened at the towers or what the hell the towers even were.

The next two tattoos are right underneath each other. They're both on her ankle in the same flowing black ink. 

The first one says:  
Violet Arizona Cristina: 21/08/14 with a small heart placed right after

Under neath :  
Alex 02/04/15 with a small gold wedding ring placed after as well

So she knows that someone's looking for her. Especially if she has a child with this person. (The stretch marks tell all) Someone's missing her out there and it scares the hell out of her that they might think she's dead. Or they might not know anything at all. 

The doctors still haven't figured out her name. Her fingerprints and DNA haven't picked up anything. If she'd been in the army you'd think that she'd be in some sort of database somewhere. 

The doctors had all taken to calling her "Glory" due to the flag on her finger and her dedication in the army. They'd felt it was a fitting choice and it's not like they had anyone there to tell them otherwise. 

She sighs looking out her window at the gorgeous sunny day. Something that she has found very rare in Seattle. God does she wish she could have just 5 minutes of sunshine.

She takes a few steadying breaths before an idea pops into her head. 

She wheels herself out of her room. Filling her head with ideas and lies to get her out of the hospital.

Just as expected a nurse stops her as she passes the station.

"Whatcha up to Glory?" Debra, one of the older nurses asks her. Her hands on her hips.

The blonde stops her wheels, before turning and smiling at the nurse.

"Doctor Stuart says that my arms aren't strong enough to hold my weight during PT so he wants me to wheel around the halls until I feel like I can't anymore. He want me to build up some more strength." She says straight faced but adding a small look of fake frustration.

Debra eyes her for a few silent moments before nodding.

"Make sure you don't push yourself too hard dear."

Glory grins. "Don't worry I won't." She adds as she sets off down the halls smirking to herself that-that had actually worked.

She's stopped again when she hits the lobby.

"And where do you think you're going Miss Doe?" Jason, the best nurse out of them all she thinks, asks.

"Dr Stuart wanted to meet me outside the hospital. Just in front of the doors. He said this was my reward for pushing myself so hard the last few days." That lie was a little weaker but she prays he'll overlook it. He knows how cramped she'd been feeling.

He shakes his head chuckling, "I'm not covering for you."

She gives a quick little fist pump. "You don't have to. Thanks". She calls as she exits the hospital.

\---

Addison POV

Well here we go again. It's been forever since I was in Seattle. Too bad it's not Seattle grace, I would have loved to have popped in to say Hi to Richard. Anyway I take a few moments to just take everything in. The building is lovely but I miss Seattle grace. It's where we were during out internship before Derek and I eventually moved to New York. This all being before our divorce anyway. I hope him and Meredith are still doing well. I'll ask when I see him. 

"You know you're supposed to go in the door right?" I hear someone say. Snapping myself out of my reverie, I turn to find a blonde woman sitting on a bench up against the wall. She has a large smile on her face.

"Excuse me?" I ask

She grins a little wider beckoning me closer. When I end up next to her she looks up. Her green eyes sparkle with a sort of mischief.

"Hi," she says cheekily

I can't stop myself from giving a little unladylike scoff. She's adorable. 

"What's your name?" I ask, I can't tell what she's doing out here but she seems to be enjoying it.

"They call me Glory."

"Interesting," I mutter

"You're Dr Montgomery aren't you." She says, I look up slightly shocked

"Um." Nice job Addison very eloquent, I think.

"Derek and Rob have been talking about you."

"oh yeah? And why are you here?" I'm oddly intrigued by this woman. She hasn't moved much since I sat down beside her.

She looks at me with a serious expression. Then mimes knocking on her head. "Elvis has left the building."

It takes me a moment to figure out what the hell she’s talking about but then it hits me.

"Amnesia?" I ask softly

"Mhmm."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I have no idea who the hell I am or if anyone's missing me. You don't have to be sorry. Only I do,"

Then a thought suddenly pops out of my mouth.

"Why are you out here?"

She freezes like she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar

"You didn't..." I say In somewhat amused panic

She shakes her head. "Nope not me sorry." 

I grin at her. "Ok up you get, I'm taking the escape artist back to DR SHEPHERD." I emphasize his title, standing up and brushing invisible dust off my skirt.

The grin leaves her face. "I'm good here thanks."

I furrow my brows. But before I can say anything Derek struts out of the hospital 

"Glory! We've been looking everywhere for you."

She looks at him wordlessly. I don't think he's noticed me just yet.

He sits beside her taking my now unoccupied seat. "I would ask how you're doing but let me guess."

She just looks at him almost as if she's unimpressed 

"You're doing shittily aren't you." He says it as more of a statement then a question. The small grin comes back.

"Ok, come on. I know you bribed nurse Jason."

She opens her mouth to protest but one knowing look from him she shuts it with an audible "pop" groaning she looks up expectantly. 

"You need any help?" He asks.

She shakes her head. I watch as she pulls a wheelchair from out beside her. Oh my god. How did I miss that?! I can't believe I told her to get up. 

Derek seems to finally notice my presence. 

"Addison!" He says brightly. He pulls me into a hug, it's a bit strange that he's so happy to see me but I'll take what I can get. 

"Derek how have you been?" I ask pulling back

"Pretty good. Just been worrying for the last hour because no one could find Glory over here." He turns a disappointed look to the blonde.

She gives him the same cheeky grin that I got earlier.

Man I can already tell that this woman's got half the hospital wrapped around her finger.


	10. August 5th-8th

Seattle. August 5th.

Without even seeming like it, a month passes by at the speed of light. It’s now August in Seattle. Hot but still rainy

Glory having been discharged from the hospital still didn’t have her memories back. Twice a week she goes back to the hospital under the capable hands of Dr Rob. Dr Shepherd checks in on her all the time just to make sure she’s alright. He’d recommended a boarding house for her to stay in while she gets back on her feet. She’d snorted and made a comment about that the first time he said it. 

For some reason herself and Addison had gotten closer. There is something about her eyes that draw her in. Not in a romantic sense, god she reminds her of someone. Someone she knows she needs.

————

New York. SVU, 1-6th precinct. August 8th

Addison stares up at the building internally groaning. A few days earlier she’d gotten a call from a police officer wondering how her wallet had ended up at the scene of a rape homicide in New York. She’d told them that her purse had been snatched on her way home from work last month and she’d reported it but they still wanted her to come in. 

She sighs before shoving the door open. 

-

"Who the hell does he think he is?!" 

"You were a little hard on him El," Olivia says gently, lowering herself into her own chair. Her partner shoots her an incredulous look.

"You're taking his side?! Liv we need that warrant!” He accuses

She sighs. "I'm not taking anyone's side"

"You sure as hell seem to be "

"Elliot," she runs a tired hand over her face. "You know as well as we do that yelling at Munch is not going to get us the evidence that we need. All we can do is dig deeper and get more."

When Elliot doesn't answer Olivia looks up from her desk and follows his line of sight. A gorgeous, tall redhead is standing just inside the precinct doors. If she didn't seem so regal and confident in her position she'd seem out of place or awkward.

Elliot pushes himself out of his chair. She doesn't seem like a victim. She's too open for that. Most people who've been sexually assaulted tend to crumble under a persons gaze, while this woman is having a staring match with Olivia. Her bright blue eyes focused on the detectives chocolate orbs.

Olivia quickly looks her over. The stunning woman is dressed in a top notch high end outfit. A beautiful black dress hugs her figure, a simple black buckled belt sits comfortably right above her waist. A signature pair of black Louis Vuitton heels, and tying the ensemble together is a gorgeous tear drop diamond necklace. A stylish black blazer is splayed gently over her arms. Her red curls cascade down her back like fire. The rich auburn locks glow even brighter in the sunlight. She's like a supermodel. And yet there's something so familiar about her.

The woman spies Elliot standing so she casually makes her way closer to him.

"Can we help you?" He asks

She gives him a curt smile. "I’m Addison Montgomery. I was called by Detective Munch a few days ago?”

Quickly the scowl shoots back onto Elliot's face. 

Olivia cuts him off before he can comment. “He just stepped out. He’ll be back in a moment.”

She nods to herself peering around the precinct. Olivia feels herself wanting to squirm under the force of the redheads gaze. She can’t help but feel that this immaculately dressed woman is judging her. 

The doors to the 1-6 open softly and the familiar click of heels tapping against the linoleum flooring is heard, the tell tale sign of their ADA. 

“Okay.” She claps her hands softly. She’s definitely different they’ve noticed. She drops her brief case onto the floor beside Olivia’s desk and perches herself, with less than her typical grace, onto the corner of said desk. Since she’d effectively been “outed” 3 months ago and told that her wife is dead she’s definitely been sadder than usual. Which is totally alright, they understand completely. It’s just hard when most of them didn’t realize she was married in the first place. They see the dark circles she tries to hide with makeup, and the tiredness that seems to pour out of her body. She tries to hide the sadness behind a facade. They see through it, but they let her.

“The Robertson case has moved to Pre-Trial and Donnelly wants Huang to swing by the office tomorrow to prepare for his statement.” She brushes a strand of golden hair behind her left ear. “And sorry to say but I need those DD5’s on my desk yesterday.”

Elliott rolls his eyes. Olivia chuckles and hands the counsellor a stack of papers from her desk. “All done.”

Alex tips her head gratefully placing the papers in her briefcase. 

“Oh!” She snaps her fingers as in an afterthought. They look to her curiously. She digs through her bag for a moment. And grins cheekily. “I got your warrant.”

Elliott’s jaw drops. Olivia snatches it out of the blondes hand quickly opening it and skimming it over. “The house and car?”

Alex nods still grinning. “House and car.” She affirms.

“How the hell did you swing that?” 

Elliott pats the blonde on the shoulder. “Who the hell cares? Go Cabot!” 

“Go Cabot What?” Munch comments strutting from around the corner. He places a folder on his desk before moving over to the coffee maker in the corner of the room. Fin a few paces behind him shaking his head and muttering. 

Elliott narrows his eyes at the older detective but Olivia elbows him. He sighs and rolls his eyes again. 

“Alex managed to get the warrant for Jacobs house and car.” 

Fin whistles and winks at the blonde. “Nice going Teflon.”

She smiles wider. “You’re welcome but I still need those DD5’s.”

Munch walks back handing her a cup of coffee as Fin drops into his chair with a groan 

“You’re slave driver Cabot”.

She bows playfully and softens her smile.

The older man turns around and spots the Redhead who’s still perusing the precinct with her eyes. 

“What’s with red?” He asks gesturing with his head

Olivia scowls at the nickname. 

“She says you called her.“ Elliott says tilting back in his chair, his hands clasped behind his head. 

Munch nods and turns towards the woman. “How can I help you ms...?”

“Montgomery.” She sticks her hand out. “Addison Montgomery. You called me last week about finding my wallet?”

A startled gasp and loud crash interrupts his answer. They spin around and spy Alex whose coffee cup was now shattered on the ground, coffee everywhere. She’s clutching her hand against her chest spotting what looks like a bad burn.

“Oh my god.” Addison breathes. She moves towards the blonde. “Are you hurt?”

The prosecutor doesn’t move. She stares almost wide eyed at the woman now in front of her. 

Misinterpreting her silence as a sign that she’s in pain the redhead gently grabs her hand, skimming over the burn with intelligent eyes.

Alex snatches her hand back, seemingly snapping herself out of her reverie. Addison looks up startled. “It’s alright. I’m a doctor.”

Alex allows her hand to be taken back. But she never lets her eyes leave the redheads face. She watches as the the woman’s hands gently prod at the burn. 

The blonde swallows heavily. “Addie?” She whispers.

The redheads eyes snap up to hers. Cobalt blue meets cobalt blue. The others watch in utter confusion as the two women just stare at each other for what seems like forever. 

Suddenly Addison sucks in a deep breath. Before a strangled word claws out of her throat. “Ali?”

A tear slips out of the prosecutors eye. Addison’s fill up but she refuses to let them fall. 

“Oh god.” She reaches up and cups the blondes cheeks securely, holding her head up so she can see her. “Baby girl.” She pulls the younger woman into a fierce hug so tight she loses her breath. 

The other watch in concern as their normally put together ADA breaks down in the redheads arms. She fists the woman’s coat tightly and buries her face into the woman’s hair. 

Elliott opens his mouth to say something but his partner elbows him again. He looks to her but she shakes her head in the negative. Let them have a few more minutes. 

Almost unconsciously, the four detectives place themselves strategically around the two women, blocking them as much as possible from people’s eyes. 

After a few minutes, Alex pulls back and wipes her eyes. She glances around seeing the concerned look on her friends faces and blushes, ducking her head. 

“Alex?” Olivia whispers 

“Um.” She clears her throat. “I’m sorry. This is Addison.” She averts her eyes 

The detectives look to the redhead since the blonde doesn’t appear to be giving any answers anytime soon. 

Addison keeps her hand grasping Alex’s. “I uh. I’m her sister.”


	11. August 10th

Seattle. Hope Housing Alliance, August 10th

A month. A month of straight up torture. Not knowing what you like, what you don’t like, allergies, god your name! What she does know is that she has a child, that she has somewhere out there who’s missing her. She doesn’t know how she knows just that she knows. 

Dr Shepherd had been kind enough to get her a bed at the nearest boarding house to the hospital. It was hell trying to get back onto her feet, sorry foot. It was absolute hell. Learning to walk again, learning to adapt by herself. She still goes to PT one a week now and Dr Rob and dr Shepherd take turns calling her a few times a week to see how she is. 

She got a job at a bakery just down the street from her, so that gives her something to do during the days, but at night she’s open to all the horrifying thoughts her mind conjures up. 

She lay tossing and turning, asleep but not relaxing. Nightmare plague her thoughts. 

Tonight she lays there staring up at the ceiling. Counting the number of swirls in the pattern of her roof. She huffs and then remembers her roommate is fast asleep. Who wouldn’t be at this time of night. Sorry, morning. It is morning right? 

She grabs the cheap burner cell, all that she could afford on her meagre salary, and checks the time. 3:29 A.M. Ok, that’s it. She crawls as quietly as she can out of bed and slips on her prosthetic that the hospital had so graciously given to her pro bono, tugging on a pair of loose jeans and a thick sweater. She grabs her phone and slips it into her pocket. Before leaving she makes sure to get her cane from the side of the bed and slips out of the room. 

After padding slowly through the carpeted hallway she ends up in the front room where Charlie, a “guard” sits. Charlie’s an older gentleman. Incredibly sweet and considerate. She feels like he’d be a good grandfather type. And then she instantly feels sad wondering if she has a grandfather of her own or even a father. 

Anyways, Technically the girls have a curfew and after midnight they’re not allowed in or out but Charlie had made an exception for her. He knows what she’s going through having lost his arm in a car accident years previous. She nods her head tiredly at him. He winks and unlocks the door for her. 

“Thanks.” She whispers 

He smiles softly. “You got it kiddo. You have my number right?”

Worried that she might get into trouble, he’d given her his cell number in case she needed a lift back to the house. 

“Yeah.” 

“Ok. Don’t be too long you know.”

“I know.”

She slips out the door into a chilly and wet night. She’d come to realize early that Seattle is an incredibly rainy city. But god does she ever love it. Every single thing about rain is heavenly. The smell of dust after a long dry period, petrichor, Dr Rob had mentioned casually one day. She didn’t realize that the scent had its own word. She walks carefully along the fairly deserted road watching for cracks or bumps on the pavement. She does this a lot. Too many thoughts running through her head to sleep. Too many unanswered questions. 

Coming to a stop in front of her favourite bench, she sits. Every time she goes out, she finds this bench and just sits. No thoughts, no priorities not anything. It’s directly across from a bar so she has plenty of entertainment and the music is loud enough inside that she can hear it from across the street. 

She doesn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until a dream consumes her. 

Its like a movie. Flashes come to her like a old film. 

A blonde woman is laughing and running behind her in the street as rain pours around them. The area is unoccupied and the night is warm.

"Come on Alex, it’s raining!” It's her own voice.

This “Alex” follows her out and she grabs her hands. The blonde hair sticks to her face but she couldn't be more breathtaking. She twirls Alex around watching as she lets out a smile that warms the heart. 

She pulls her in for a passionate kiss and whispers in her ear. 

"I love you,"

Alex pulls back to stare right in her eyes. "I love you too, Teddy,"

The flash ends as she gasps for breath straightening up. Teddy. The name bounces around her head endlessly. Teddy. Is that her name?

She glances at the time on her phone and swears loudly. It’s almost 6:30. Looking up, for the first time she notices the sun peeking up over the horizon. She stands with some difficulty and starts her way back to the house. Charlie is going to kill her.

...Teddy


	12. September 4th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Lovelies!
> 
> I'd love to hear from you and see how you're liking the story. Seriously, I can take a little (a lot ;) ) of constructive criticism as long as it's not intentionally hurtful.
> 
> I do not own these characters, blah blahh blah.
> 
> Btw, anyone who can get the hidden quote wins the world. I'll give you a hint, It's from a fabulous little show called Charmed.
> 
> Love and Kisses, Bre <3

New York. Home of Alex Cabot, September 4th.

1 month. It’s been 1 month since Addison walked back into her life. And god has it been such a blessing. 

4 months since her wife died. It has been hell. 

5 months since the last time she’d slept. God is she tired.

6 months since the last time she talked to her wife. How it hurts.

9 months since her daughter first asked when mommy was coming home. She didn’t know what to say. 

12 months since she saw her wife for the last time. She didn’t know. 

Every single fucking moment of the day, she swears she’s dying. Each heart beat brings a world of pain. Each breath knocks the air out of her lungs. 

She knows the others are worried for her. She knows Kelly watches her as she leaves in the morning and when she comes home at night. Everyone can see the wariness in her body, she knows that she’s different. Gone is the progress she’d made with Elliott. It seems like every moment they are near each other they’re fighting. Olivia’s been trying her best but she can’t get past the indestructible walls Alex has suddenly built around her heart. Addison poor poor Addison. She’s really the only person to have seen the raw and broken heart underneath the concrete shell. To everyone else her face is carefully blank and her attitude is icier than ever before. Truly, she’s just going through the motions. 

She can feel the pity filled eyes as she walks through the halls of the precinct. Word had spread to the DA’s office and Donnelly had actually tried to give her a few months off. That didn’t go over too well. Honestly, the only thing she’s living for right now is her daughter. Their baby girl who is too young to understand that mommy is never coming home. That mommy will never tuck her into bed at night or sing her favourite song that only mommy can sing right.

Alex honestly doesn’t know what to do. She can’t do this on her own! 

She’s home right now. Donnelly said that if she wouldn’t take time off, she’d make her work from home for a while and she did. Alex was actually surprised it took her so long to enforce that demand. She’d been working for almost 3.5 months after Teddy’s official “death call.” The blonde is going absolutely stir crazy. She doesn’t know what to do with herself. Violet doesn’t seem to have noticed too many differences in her mama but she’s 3 what does she know. Currently, the little girl is over at Kelly’s house while her mom works. But she’s doing anything but working. 

Alex sits on her bed in her room staring into their closet-her closet. She stands slowly and pads towards Teddy’s things. Her wife had made her swear not to move them out of the way to make room for more shoes. They’d laughed and made love the entire night before she’d left. The blonde fingers a soft red sweater. It’s her favourite thing to see on her wife. Was. She yanks it from the hanger and buries her face in the soft wool. It’s still smells like Teddy. Something akin to a spring breeze with a hint of warm vanilla. Uniquely Teddy. 

Alex gives a feral scream and throws it across the room. She grabs the nearest thing she can find, being a lamp, and chucks it at the closest wall taking barely any pleasure in the way it shatters into a thousand pieces. Her phone rings . She ignores it. Continuing to throw things at the walls she can’t fathom how this is how her life turned out. She finally had everything she’s ever wanted and it was ripped away from her in the matter of moments. How the hell is she supposed to provide a stable existence for their daughter. Her phone keeps ringing. She stomps over to it seeing the picture of her family as the background. She throws it with all her might into the wall. 

“How dare you! How dare you leave me! How could you go and die and leave me here all alone, please come back! I need you, please come back.” She drops to the floor sobbing not noticing how the glass pieces imbed themselves into her hands and knees. She doesn’t know how long she stays there crying. She doesn’t notice when her bedroom door opens nor when she is swept up bridal style and carried into the bathroom. 

Someone sets her down. In the far reaches at the back of her mind she can make out voices talking. 

Olivia. It’s Olivia talking. And Elliott?

She blinks. Slowly the wave of numbness passes and she can feel a warm hand on her cheek. She blinks again and she can make out Olivia’s face in front of hers. The brunette is saying something but all she can hear is her wife saying goodbye. 

I love you Alex

Love you Alex

You Alex 

Alex 

Alex

“Alex?” Olivia’s husky voice invades her memory. “Alex hon’?”

“Liv.” She mumbles

“Yeah sweetie, it’s me. Elliott’s here too.” She looks to her partner to say something

“Hey Cabot.” He waves awkwardly. Olivia rolls her eyes 

“What are you doing here?” Slowly her mind is clearing up. 

“There was a noise complaint from one of your neighbours. We heard the address and took over for the beat cop who would have come.”

The blonde nods slowly. “Thanks.” She whispers 

Olivia tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “We called Addison. She said she’ll be over in 10.”

What did she say? Addison. Addison what? Is coming over, no. “No.”

“What?”

“No Addison shouldn’t come over. The place is a mess.”

Olivia gives a mirthless chuckle. “Alex you’re covered in glass. You have cuts all over your knees and hands. I prefer a doctor be here. Besides, she says she’s never seen your place before so she jumped at the chance.”

The blonde nods wordlessly. She knows she can’t argue with Olivia.

She sits and waits as drops of blood drip onto her white tile floors.


	13. September 2nd-4th

Seattle. Martha’s Bakery. September 2nd.

So Addison took off for a while. Family emergency Dr Shepherd told her. It’s been about a month since she’d seen her.

Teddy, or so she’s calling herself in her head, had gotten used to the presence of the redhead. They’d become good friends just hanging out whenever Addison had time. She’d ended up taking over for a maternity leave after Dr Webber over at Seattle Grace had practically begged on his knees. Ever since, he’d been trying to entice her to stay. That is until this had happened. 

She’d gotten a call a week or so ago, after 3 weeks without contact. Addison had met her sister whom she hadn’t seen in almost 20 years. She didn’t really say much about her just that she was going through losing a spouse. 

God. Is that what her husband? Wife? is feeling? Heartbreak and torture not knowing where she is. Is her daughter crying every night wondering why mommy isn’t tucking her into bed?

An old lullaby jumps into her head. She slowly walks down to the bakery softly humming. She can't remember all of the words but it has to do with something about lavender and kings and queens.

In the last few verses that she hums, she swears she can hear a young child singing with her. Violet. Her daughter. She’s 3 according to her birthdate inked on the dirty blondes ankle.

The song continues to play throughout her entire walk to work. Flashes of the tiniest blonde haired, green eyed little girl flicker through her mind. 

——

New York. Home of Alex Cabot, September 4th.

Addison had dug out all the shards of glass from her knees and hands. Butterfly bandages applied to all of the cuts that were deep enough not to heal on their own but not enough to need stitches. Thankfully she’d hadn’t cut deep enough to need stitches.

The 4 adults now sit quietly sipping coffee lost in thought on the blondes couch. As Addison had treated to her sisters wounds, the two detectives had taken the liberty of cleaning up the broken remnants of the lamp. This is the first time for the two cops to have actually seen the damage that losing her wife has cost their ADA. Addison wants to cry. Her baby sister is going through something she just can’t help her with. It’s hurting her to see, what she knows is such a strong woman, break so hard. Alex contemplate ways to pass off her behaviour. She can’t believe she allowed herself to lose it so bad. And the fact that people saw the outcome... it’s bad enough that Addison has seen some of the damage but for two of her colleagues to have witnessed her moment of insanity, is unthinkable and utterly embarrassing.

Addison attempts to break the tension mounting in the room. “So...” she pauses when all eyes land on her. She clears her throat. “Where’s Violet?”

Alex blinks taking a moment to realize she’s being spoken to. “Oh um. With Kelly, my neighbour. She watches her... when I’m working.” 

“Oh.”

She doesn’t know what to say after that but Elliott takes over, for which she’s grateful. Until she actually registers what he’s said.

“You don’t have any photos?”

Olivia shoots him a look but Alex doesn’t notice. 

“I-I took them down. I didn’t want to look at them.”

He nods without saying anything. They go back to sipping their coffee. 

Addison drains hers and notices that Olivia’s clutching an empty mug and that her sisters is almost empty as well. She stands.

“More coffee?” 

Olivia looks up startled. “Oh no. We should actually be heading back to work.” She nods to her partner. They both stand as well. 

Alex stays rooted to her spot. 

“Ali?” Addison says catching the blondes attention

Blue eyes look up. “Hmm?”

“Detectives Benson And Stabler are leaving.”

“Oh. Oh right.” Alex stands, swaying fractionally.

Addison heads off into the kitchen to get another cup of coffee for her sister and herself as Alex walks behind the two cops to the door. 

Elliott walks out into the hallway as Olivia hangs back. She looks at the blonde in detail. There are dark bags under her eyes. Her typically perfectly styled hair is tangled and thrown up into a messy ponytail. She’s wearing sweatpants and a thin cotton tank top. She also seems skinnier than Olivia’s ever seen her. She’s probably not eating much.

“Are you okay?” As soon as the words are out of her mouth she wants to slap herself. Of course she’s not okay.

Alex tries to give her a small smile but she’s pretty sure it just comes out as a grimace. “I’m-“ she’s cut off abruptly from a gasp and a crash in her kitchen emulating a similar event a month earlier. 

The two women exchange a look before rushing into the kitchen. 

Addison stands before a pile of broken ceramic, bracing herself against the counter with one hand and clutching a picture frame tightly in the other. A drawer to her right is opened. Her eyes don’t leave the photo. 

Alex marches up and snatches the frame from her sisters hand. “What are you doing with that?!”

Olivia can make out that it’s the same photo of the family that Alex had shown her almost 5 months ago. 

Addisons startled eyes land on her sisters angry gaze. “Who is that?”

“What?!”

“Seriously Ali. This is important. Who is that?”

Tears fill her blue eyes. “That’s Teddy. My wife.” She wipes away the fallen tears. “Why?!”

“Alex... She’s alive.”

“What?! Don’t do that to me!” She shakes her head furiously.

“No really. I’ve met her. She’s alive Ali! Teddy is alive!”

Without warning, Alex’s blue eyes roll back into her head and hearing a few startled yelps, she falls to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Lovelies!
> 
> So In the chapter I refer to Teddy humming a lullaby. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to actually write out the lyrics to the song so I didn't just to be sure.
> 
> If anyone wants to know, the song is Lavender's Blue. Its hard to pinpoint the exact original singer since it's be re-recorded so many times.
> 
> Love and Kisses, Bre <3


	14. September 4th

Seattle. Martha’s Bakery. September 4th

Glory turns on the oven starting the process of baking miniature cupcakes for her colleague. Moving towards the front counter she spots a few people waiting in line to order. Sneaking a peek at the clock on the wall she sighs. 10 more minutes until her shift is done.   
It’s not that she doesn’t like her job it’s a combination of a few things. Firstly her leg is killing her. And secondly she truly believes she’s supposed to be doing something incredibly more important than making coffee and taking people’s change. 

10 minutes finally pass by at snails pace. She’s practically limping by the time she leaves the shop. 

She usually loves walking back. The day is bright and cheery for once. The sun is warm and there’s no clouds in sight. She’s not having a great day though. Her leg hurts, her head is pounding and she spilt coffee on her shirt staining the sleeve. So all in all she’s over it. 

She passes a record store every day on the walk home. She loves watching the people inside. It’s one of those retro places that you don’t see anywhere anymore. They always play old songs on the speakers that can always be heard from outside the store. As she walks by she freezes as she hears the song currently playing. She knows this one. It's Uptown Girl. She thinks in her mind about all the parallels the lyrics have with her own life.

Then sudden Images flash through her mind so fast she gets dizzy. 

You’re driving. The city passes by at what seems like warp speed. It’s definitely not Seattle. 

A baby is screaming in the backseat. You twist trying to reach the crying child. 

“Shh Violet. Baby it’s ok.” You try to sooth the infant. Your eyes leave the road for only a split second but when they turn back you swear and swerve, slamming hard on the breaks.

A dog runs away from the scene just as a statuesque blonde yelps and spills her coffee all over herself. 

Pulling off to the side of the road, you jump out of the car and rush to the woman. “Oh my god I’m so sorry!”

The woman is covered. Her suit, which seems pretty expensive too, is ruined. She looks closely at her. The woman is blonde and blue eyed. She tall and gorgeous. She’s thin and incredibly fit it appears. Her hair cascades down her back like a waterfall and she has thick black rimmed glasses perched atop her head. 

“Can’t you watch where-“ she trails off as your eyes meet. “Woah.” She whispers softly 

“I’m so so sorry.” You stare into cobalt blue eyes. “Here let me pay for your dry cleaning.”

The blonde nods dumbly. 

Spurred on by the way the woman keeps looking at your lips, you sweeten the deal. “Can I buy you a cup of coffee to replace the one you spilled?”

The woman shakes her head. 

“Oh.” 

“Wait!” The woman says. “I mean yes. But no. I’m running late for court but I’d like- I mean I- I’m sorry I’m not usually like this.” She blushes. It’s beautiful on her 

“It’s ok.” You whispers 

She takes a breath. “I’d like that. Going for coffee sometime I mean.”

You smile widely. “Great.”

The goddess hands you a business card that just has her number on it.

You turn to go back to your car. But spin back around. “Wait. I don’t know your name?”

The blonde smiles widely. You swear you always wants to be the reason for that smile. “Alex. You?”

Green eyes twinkle. “My name is Teddy.”

My name is Teddy. 

Oh god. Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn! Another song I can't write out.
> 
> Its one of my absolute all time favourite songs, Uptown girl by Billy Joel. After starting SVU, whenever I hear that song now I can't stop myself from thinking of something like Olivia singing it about Alex. *Swoon*
> 
> Anyway, I definitely recommend that you listen to it. I think you'd appreciate it.
> 
> Love and Kisses, Bre <3


	15. September 4th

Seattle. Martha’s Bakery. September 4th

“Come on, pick up. Pick up, pick up, pick up.” She mutters under her breath. She paces back and forth limping as she does but barely noticing the pain in her haste. 

“Hi.” 

“Alex.” She breaths 

“You’ve reached the personal phone of Alex Cabot.” 

“No!” Teddy growls. Goddamn answering machine. 

“I’m not able to come to the phone right now but if you really need to reach me, I’m probably at the office. The number is 212-764-9323. If this isn’t urgent leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a good day.”

“Alex.” Her leg buckles from underneath her. She falls against the wall sobbing into her arms. “I’m so sorry.”

After forcing herself to abandon her little pity party she straightens up on the ground and dials the number to her wife’s office praying to any god that will listen to connect her to the blonde. 

“Manhattan district attorneys office, this is Stacy speaking, how may I help you?”

Stacy is a good friend of Alex and Teddy’s. She’d been there for their wedding. If anyone would know where Alex is, it should be her.

“Stacy?” She basically whimpers. Teddy them mentally berates herself for acting so childish. “Stacy it’s me.”

“I’m sorry. Who is this?”

“It’s me. It’s Teddy. I really need to speak to Alex.”

The woman on the line gasps indignantly. “How dare you. That is sick. You leave Alex Cabot alone do you hear me?! Her wife is dead, don’t play games with her.”

“No please! Stacy you have to believe me, I’m not dead. I can prove it please.” Shes frantic at the thought of not being able to hear her wife. 

“Oh yeah? How?”

“The office Christmas party! Donnelly, Alex, you and I all shared a bottle of grey goose. It got wild and we all woke up the next day at my house in nothing but our underwear.” The blonde is practically begging at this point for the younger redhead to believe her. 

The line is silent for a few moments.

Then a watery voice answers softly. “Teddy?”

“Yes! Oh god yes! I’m here. I need to speak with Alex. I’ll explain it all later but please. Is she there?”

“No.” Her heart deflates  
“Liz sent her home a few weeks ago and none of us have heard from her.”

“Thanks.” She sighs in defeat. 

“Wait Teddy-“ she’s cut off as the distraught woman hangs up. 

Teddy sits there, up against the cracked brick wall. She doesn’t think she’s ever been more grateful that the street she’s on is one of the more free of too much foot traffic. 

She buries her head in her arms choking back her sobs. How the hell is she supposed to get to Alex if no one can reach her. Taking deep breaths since she’s basically on the verge of hyperventilating, she hums the tune to her daughters favourite lullaby. 

She’s interrupted when her phone starts ringing. 

She gasps and snatches from the ground beside her. 

Please god be Alex. 

A few tears stream down her cheeks when she realizes it’s just Addison. 

“Not now Addison. Not now.” She declines the call and dials a different number.


	16. september 4th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting to the end of the line Lovelies!

New York. Home of Alex Cabot. September 4th 

“She’s not picking up.” Addison growls. “Goddamn it Glory!” The redhead paces back over to the detective who’s sitting on the couch. With her sister. Alex is wrapped up in a massive blanket that swallows her trembling body. She’s quiet. Too quiet. 

“How is she?” She asks sitting down in the seat next to Alex’s enveloped form.

Olivia glances to her as she hands the small blonde a cup of hot tea. “I think she may be in shock.”

“I can’t get a hold of Teddy. But I called Derek, he’s her doctor and I know he’s been in contact with her, and left a message to get him to phone her and tell her she needs to call me urgently.”

“Yeah. Ok.” The brunette says running her fingers through her cropped locks. “What do we do now?”

Addison turns to her little sister who’s cobalt blue eyes are watery but show more spark in them, then they have in the entire month she’s been back in her life. She wraps a strong loving arm around her body. The trembling form lets out a small gasp as she drops her head heavily onto her big sisters shoulder. 

“We wait.”

————

New York. Manhattan District Attorney’s office. September 4th 

Stacy Bursts into her boss’s office not even thinking about what might be going on in there. 

“Liz!”

Liz Donnelly shoots the younger woman a fierce look and sticks up one finger to tell her to wait. She finishes up the conversation she’s having on her phone and hangs up. She clasps her hands together and leans forwards.

“Is there a reason, you’re entering without waiting or is that just for kicks?”

The girl turns the colour of her hair. “Oh- I um.”

“Out with it!”

“Teddy just called me.”

The woman gets a bored look on her face. “Teddy who?”

“Teddy. Alex’s Teddy.”

Liz glares at her. “Miss turner. Alex’s Teddy is dead. That is not something we joke about.”

“I’m serious. She called asking for Alex and I thought she was playing a game too but she knew all about the Christmas party and the vodka and the-“ Liz cuts her off 

“Yes yes yes. We don’t speak of that.” She huffs. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. And I can’t get a hold of Alex. It keeps going to voicemail.”

“Oh god. Ok thank you. I’ll see if I can get a hold of her.”

The young woman nods and turns to leave. 

“Oh and Stacy?”

“Yes?”

“You tell no one.”

“Understood.”

The older woman picks up her phone and dials the 1-6 precinct. 

Across town, Captain Cragen answers the phone on his desk. 

“Yeah? Cragen.”

“Don It’s Liz. I have an important question.”

He furrows his brow. “What d’you need Liz?”

“I’m looking for Alex, have you seen her lately?”

“Cabot?” He shakes his head. “No I haven’t seen her around here.”

“Damn” she sighs. “I really need to get a hold of her.”

“Have you talked to the sister?”

“Sister?”

“Yeah uh Montgomery. Tall, redhead. Showed up at the precinct a month ago.”

“No I hadn’t heard anything about that.”

“Give me a minute I’ll see if I can get her name.”

“Thanks Don.”

He places her on hold. And exits his office. Munch is typing on his computer while Fin is writing up his paperwork. He notices that Elliott and Olivia aren’t at their desk yet he hadn’t heard of a new case. 

“Anyone seen Cabot lately?”

Both men shake their heads. 

“Nah but Liv and Stabler heard a call on the radio about a complaint from her building.” Fin answers 

“Thanks.” He turns back to his office but pauses. “Munch What was the name of Cabot’s sister? Montgomery?”

The older detective nods and flips through his files. “Uh Montgomery... Addison.”

“Great.”

Picking his phone back up he connects back to Donnelly.

“Benson and Stabler are at Cabot’s building now. The Sisters name is Addison Montgomery. The only number we have on record for her is the Royal City Plaza.”

“Thanks. I’ll give Benson a call.”

“Take care of yourself Liz.”

“Will do Don. You too.”


	17. September 4th

Seattle. Martha’s Bakery. September 4th.

As she waits for the call to connect, her phone rings. 

Sighing as she sees the same name as before she hits decline again. 

“Addison come on. I’m busy.”

Teddy takes the phone away from her ear and drops her head to her knees. What a sight she must be, curled up on the ground against a dirty cracked brick wall in a nearly deserted part of the city. 

Oh god. She must hate me. And Violet! I’m promised them I’d be ok and they think I’ve been dead for the last 3 months. How do they not know I’m alive?! Where the hell have the V.A been! They hate me. Oh my god, Violet must think I’ve abandoned her. Alex! My love, she has to be devastated. 

Teddy stops herself when her breath starts coming out in short gasps. Shit not a panic attack. 

She tries to think back to all of the exercises she’s done and all of the techniques she’s been taught on how to calm your breathing down. She starts to panic when it doesn’t help. 

Picturing her family the way it was helps her to focus. After a few moments her breathing is a little more regulated and she can hear someone talking. 

It’s takes her a minute to realize that the person on the phone talking to her.

“Hello?”

She gasps basically throwing the phone to her ear. “Yes I’m here!”

“Oh.” The voice says surprised but quickly gets over it. “Uh you’ve reached the Shepherd residence, how can I help you?”

Teddy swears that the perky female voice on the other line is familiar. But she can’t think about that right now.

“I need to talk to Doctor Shepherd.”

“Which one? He or she?”

Teddy blinks. She hadn’t realized that he might be married. “Oh uh... he.”

“Sure give me one moment.”

She gets put on hold.

“Hello?”

————

Seattle. Home of Derek and Meredith Shepherd. September 4th.

The music is blasting. And that is definitely Cristina up on their table dancing. 

“I’m so sorry.” Meredith whispers to her husband

“It’s all good. You have fun friends.” He laughs 

She smiles at him when he gives her his dreamy look. 

“Hey grey!” Alex Karev shouts. “This is good shit. Where’s it from?” He’s most definitely drunk considering he’s holding up a bottle of hand soap. Meredith giggles

“Where are the kids?” Lexie asks Callie and Arizona as they sit on the couch chatting.

“They’re staying with a babysitter at our place for the night.” She answers sipping on her glass of wine.

“Mer’s kids too?”

“Yeah. Zola and Sophia are excited to spend the night at a “sleepover” Arizona laughs making finger quotes 

“Hey! Somebody bring out the tequila!” Cristina yells moving her hips to the timing of the beat.

“She’s a fairly decent dancer, I’ll give her that.” Sloane mumbles checking her out. Lexie shoots him a look and elbows him. Hard

“Somebody get that woman off of the table.” Bailey mutters into her drink

They can barely hear the phone ringing from all the noise but Meredith does. 

“Can somebody grab that?”

Arizona smiles. “Sure.”

She grabs the phone from the cradle. “Hello, Shepherd residence?”

She furrows her brows. “Hello?” She’s not sure but all she can hear is what seems to be heavy breathing. “Hello? Is anyone there? Hello?”

A female voice clears her throat and basically shouts down the line. “Yes I’m here!”

“Oh.” She’ll admit that it startled her. “Uh you’ve reached the Shepherd residence, how can I help you?”

“I need to talk to Doctor Shepherd.”

Woah that voice sounds so familiar. Strange.

“Which one? He or she?”

“Oh uh... he.” Arizona stops herself from chuckling. The woman probably didn’t realize that he was married

“Sure give me one moment.”

She puts the woman on hold. 

“Derek! You’ve got a phone call.” She walks into the kitchen with it, where said man is clearing away dishes and getting glasses. 

“Did they say who it was?” He asks wiping his hands on a towel

“Nope just a woman who said she needed to talk to you. 

“Thanks Arizona.” He grabs the phone and a bunch of glasses and heads into the sitting room with everyone else.

“Hello?”

“Oh hi!” It’s a female voice and she sounds a bit teary.

“This is Doctor Shepherd, how can I help you?”

She mumbles something that he can’t quite hear 

“Pardon? Wait one second.” He turns around to the rest of the doctors. He walks over and shuts of the music.

Cristina stops dancing. “Hey!”

“Just give me a second, I’m on the phone.” He turns back the phone. “Sorry What was that?”

“It’s Glory.”

He smiles widely. Meredith shoots him a confused look. “Later.” He mouths to her.

“Glory! How are you? How’s the leg.”

“It hurts like a bitch.” She gives a forced laugh.

“Are you ok?” 

By this time everyone is listening in to his conversation since the music is off. 

“Who’s he talking to?” Cristina asks her best friend 

Meredith, having heard of Glory’s escapades, smiles. “Just a patient of his.”

“His patients call him at home?” Callie says sceptically 

“He’s taken a special interest in this one.”

“Never get personal with patients.” Bailey tuts. 

“She doesn’t have anyone.” The resident tries to explain 

“Hmm.”

“I don’t understand. Was there something wrong?” Derek speaks softly. He’s being his dreamy self and realistically Meredith hopes this chick is totally gay. Not in like a mean way though, she just hopes she really likes women.

“I don’t know what to do.” And the blonde is back to crying.

“Why? What happened?” His phone beeps with an incoming call. He checks really quick and furrows his brows when he sees Addison’s name. Isn’t she supposed to be in New York? Anyway he declines the call for now.

She sniffs. “I remember. I remember everything.”

“Glory that’s incredible! You can go home, back to your life. Why did you call me and not your family?”

“Good question.” Cristina snorts suggestively to her best friend.

“Cut it out. The woman has amnesia.” 

Karev whistles lowly. 

“I couldn’t get a hold of my wife. I didn’t know who else to call. I don’t think I’ve thanked you enough for everything you’ve done. So I just thought I’d call and let you know that you’ve really helped. So thank you Doctor Shepherd and I hope you don’t take it the wrong way when I say I hope I never have to see you again.”

Derek laughs full heartedly. “I’m so happy for you. I hope you don’t have to see me again either. Go see you wife, go see your daughter. If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to call. Good luck Glory.”

Meredith sighs in relief when she hears the word wife. And she’s ok with being relived since it appears to be a fairly good conversation in which hopefully her husbands favourite patient now remembers. 

“Teddy.” She breathes joyfully. “My name is Teddy.”

“Teddy.” He grins. “It’s nice to officially meet you.”

As he hangs up Meredith walks up right in front of him and wraps her arms around him. “You’re so wonderful.”

He smiles. “You know, as much as I’m happy for her, I think I’m going to miss her.”

“I understand.”

“Teddy.” Arizona says thoughtfully,

“What?” Derek’s asks 

She blinks. “Oh it’s just that woman’s name. We had a Teddy that worked with us for a while. She uh lost her husband and went through a rough time.” She blinks back sadness. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

It’s a little bit later when Derek remembers that Addison had called him. Finding the phone where he left it on the kitchen table, he dials his voicemail.

“Derek it’s Addison. This is Urgent I need you to call me back as soon as possible. I know who Glory is and I need to get a hold of her. Her wife is freaking out. Thanks.”

He drops the phone when Meredith comes around the corner and startles him. 

“Jeez.” She jumps. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah yeah I’m good. I just need to make a phone call.”

She nods unconvinced. “Ok. Whatever you say.” And she walks back out.

He dials the number and waits. 

“Derek, thank god.”


	18. September 4th

New York. Home of Alex Cabot. September 4th.

Back at Alex’s apartment building the three women are still sitting together on the couch. Olivia had let Elliott know what was going on and told him to head back to the precinct. Alex still sits cuddled up against her sister, Addison arms wrapped protectively around her. 

“Liv.” Alex whispers 

The brunette detective turns to face her best friend. “Yeah?”

“You can go.”

Olivia furrows her brows. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to stay here with us.”

Olivia shakes her head sharing a look with Addison. “I’m not going anywhere Lex.”

“But-“ she cuts off by the ringing of The redheads cell phone, 

She grabs it from the coffee table. “It’s Derek!” She gently untangles herself from her distraught baby sister and answers the phone urgently. 

“Derek thank god”

“Hey what’s going on?”

Addison moves into a far corner of the room to speak quietly with her Ex-husband. Alex is left sitting wordlessly beside her best friend. 

Olivia has absolutely no idea what to say in this situation. She’d been there the majority of the time that Teddy had been gone and she’d seen the sadness that permeated Alex’s life. 

She’s just about to say something when her own phone rings loudly. She startles but quickly recovers, patting her friends knee and moving up off the couch. 

“Benson.”

“Detective Benson, it’s Liz Donnelly.”

Olivia glances back to Alex who still sitting stiffly. “What can I do for you Liz?”

“Are you with Cabot?”

“Yeah but listen Liz nows not really the ti-“

“I’m going to stop you there detective. My associate just received a call from Cabot’s Wife who was unable to get a hold of her.”

Olivia very nearly drops her phone. Louder than she means to she answers shocked “you heard from Teddy?”

Alex’s and Addisons heads snap towards hers. She quickly finishes up her call, murmuring gratefully to her friends boss before hanging up.

The detective meets the sisters back on the couch. 

“Donnelly called, Stacy got a call from Teddy. Apparently she was trying to get a hold of you but wasn’t able to reach your cell.”

Alex drops her head and glances at a nearby wall where her cell lays smashed to pieces. 

Addison takes over. “I was just on the phone with Derek, Teddy called him to tell him that she remembered everything and needed to get a hold of you.”

“What do you mean remembered?” Alex whispers 

Addison sighs bringing her hands together and resting them against her mouth. “Teddy was airlifted months ago to Seattle. There was a bombing and she was hurt,” she pauses for a moment as Alex gasps. “Serious head trauma. She had amnesia. She couldn’t even remember her own name. Alex... she was hurt bad. They had to amputate her leg,”

A sob escapes from the blonde lips as tears stream down her face, 

“She was in a coma for 2 months. So when she woke up and couldn’t remember anything there wasn’t much they could do. For some reason there weren’t any records of her in the system.”

“Some men in uniform came and told us she had died.” Olivia says confused

“I assume when they couldn’t find a body, they must have thought she had.” The doctor runs a hand through her typically perfect hair. “Anyway, she’s not answering for anyone. She probably only wants to talk to you, baby girl,” she tucks a strand of tangled blonde hair behind her little sisters ear. 

Alex shudders. “Do you have her number?”

Addison nods. Alex silent asks for her phone and then snatches the detectives. 

“Hey” Olivia complains 

Alex sticks her tongue out. 

She copies the number from her sisters phone into the brunettes. She tries to type a message but hisses when it agitates one of the many cuts on her hands and fingers. Olivia gently pries it from her grasp 

“Type, Theodora Altman you answer the goddamn phone right now or so help me god!” She basically growls out 

The detective and doctor share a look but Olivia does what Alex says. The blonde then waits counting out in her head before pressing the call button.

———

Seattle. Martha’s Bakery. September 4th.

Teddy growls as once again her call is sent to Alex’s voice mail. Who the hell does she have to sell her soul to-to get in touch with her wife? She’s still sitting perched against the brick wall, not even remotely thinking about moving yet. 

She sits contemplating for what has to be a good 5 minutes before she pushes herself to a standing position when people start to flock out of a restaurant on the corner and start making their way towards her little pity party. 

She grits her teeth from the radiating pain shooting through her left. She decides to limp back to her boarding house. Might as well get a head start on packing her meagre amount of possessions.

Her phone chimes just as she enters the front lobby of the old building. Charlie’s sitting there like usual. 

“Hey kiddo. How was work?” He sits up eagerly, it always makes her smile when he seems so actually interested in her day.

Her phone buzzes distractedly in her back pocket but she ignores it for a moment to chat with him. She’s tired and sore but she always tries to make time to be social. It helps her feel like she’s not wasting away. 

When they finally part she makes her way slowly and painfully to her room. Her roommate isn’t there and for that’s she’s thankful. She plops heavily onto the thin-sprung mattress pulling her ‘knees’ towards her and massaging her stump. 

She pulls out her phone and frowns when she sees a text message from an unknown number. Her heart leaps into her throat when she finally comprehends what it say.

~ Theodora Altman, you answer the goddamn phone right now or so help me god!

She checks it over and notices that she has a missed call from the same number. With shaking fingers she redials the number and waits for it to connect. 

The person who answers causes the dam to break on her forceful albeit shaky, ability to compensate and with one single word she starts to sob knowing in her heart everything is going to be ok.

“Baby?” 

Everything will be alright, she smiles brightly. Alex will be there. Violet will be there. Teddy will be there. She’s going to go home, back to life. Back to reality. Home... what a pleasant thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is it Babes! 
> 
> Thank you so much for joining me on this journey. Nearly 20,000 words don't seem like enough. I've already started writing a prequel/sequel story to this one. Its called Afraid of the Dark and I hope to start getting it up soon. 
> 
> Love you guys and I really hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I have writing it.
> 
> Until next time.  
Love and Kisses, Bre <3


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